Conquering My Synopsophobia

 

I'm going to share this in the hopes that it can help someone else. I'm by no means a expert, but when I find something that works so well for me, I like to share.

Also, I need to preface this post with a few disclaimers:

• I write short category romance which means a tight word count(~50K). Although I expect that every romance needs all three GMCs per character, it's imperative for my process that I know all three GMC before I start writing if I don't want to waste lots of time with revision.
• On the Plotter/Pantser scale(At least today), I'm about 70/30, leaning toward plotter. If you're a pantser, I think it can be helpful if you can define these things before you start writing.
• This might not be the thing you want to send to your editor if you're still uncontracted. But I personally am using this as part of my new-book-starter-kit... since it helps me envision the book enough that I have a good foundation before I start writing. Makes it easier for me. As with all writing advice, Your Mileage May Vary.
• If you're unfamiliar with the concept of GMC(Goal/Motivation/Conflict), Deb Dixon's book is now available in e-format. 

/End-Disclaimer0

Like almost every writer I've met, I have harbored an intense loathing of writing synopses. Before my current project, when I've started a new book, I've written (at best) a three page synopsis for my editor for proposal. And they were quite rambling things.

Old Synopsis Format

• First two pages: Heroine and Hero's backgrounds, focusing on formative moments to explain Internal and External GMC. (Note: only 2 types of GMC focused on here)
• Third page: How the story started. And usually I could give at least three chapters worth of stuff... how I saw the story beginning.
• That synopsis format always ended with me flailing and an announcement to the effect of: THERE WILL BE A BLACK MOMENT AND HAPPILY EVER AFTER, BUT THAT'S ALL I KNOW RIGHT NOW. I'M SORRY. (I'm neurotic, I apologize for everything.)

New Synopsis Format

• First Page: The Quick Backgrounds page. Where each character comes from, what kind of personalities they have, what they're doing at the start of the story. Not really a place for the GMC's. Quick means quick. Short. A couple single spaced paragraphs. If there is anything else of note(like pertaining to the External plot), I give it a quick background too.
• Second and Third pages: A single chart that lists the GMC for Internal, External and Romantic threads for each character.



3 GMC Chart

• Fourth+ pages will be in tomorrow's post! And it will make pantsers want to scrub their brains, no doubt... but it's part of my own personal new synopsis glee.

That's it for today. Tomorrow I'll explain what's in the final section of the synopsis and how I manage to summon it before writing these days.

Psychology of a Writer's Mind

First, let me state that I'm not making any claims about writer instability or anything like that. I'm mostly indulging my own curiosity and looking for input into a question that has been eating me up since the Guardian article ran.

One more disclaimer, I am using the phrase 'negative review' to mean anything critical even though that's not really the way I look at them. It's shorthand, though I think we need a better term.

When we hear about author-on-reviewer misconduct of any kind, the first thing you think(after OMG, is the reviewer okay!?) is:

What in the world was that author THINKING?

So down that rabbit hole I went. I want to understand... well,everything, but especially things I could never see myself doing. (I also am fascinated by serial killer and true crime documentaries... But that's another post.)

Everyone tells authors not to read reviews, which I do understand. Baby writers(and probably writers who are all grown up too) have muses that are like turtles: They retreat into their shells when anything startles or scares them. A muse that's in full-on turtle mode makes it harder to write your next book well. Or in a timely manner. Or at all. So as a muse-prophylactic, not reading your reviews makes excellent sense. 

But personally, I do read my reviews. (At least for now, it doesn't take much time to read them, there aren't that many.) And sometimes while eating chocolate.

I don't do it because I want to hear that I'm awesome (When people say that? I never believe them anyway.).

I don't do this because I can't stand not knowing (Though I do have an epic case of InstantGratification-itis, and basically want to know/do/be everything right NOW.).

I do it because I want to improve my craft.

Not so much the way I write. Not structure, or really anything to do with the mechanics of writing. I do it because I want to know what story elements, plots, and characters resonate the most with people who read my genre(category romance, medical series).

I fully accept that my books are a product. And without writing another whole post on why I don't think it's selling out to say this: I want to give the customer what they want. Or at least understand so I can make that coincide with my own desires to give others that happy sigh at the end of a book.

But even though I like to think I have a pretty good understanding of reader expectations, I'm probably more like 80/20 than 100% on the understanding. Reviews, especially negative reviews, offer insight and help me become not just a better writer, but to build the career I want to have.

So that's my goal when I read my own reviews. And it probably matters that I go into reading them with that mindset(Years of art school taught me how to take a critique too, but that is yet another post).

But I'm still stuck on: What was that(or that, or THAT...) author thinking!?

And more specifically: What in that particular review started them down the yellow brick road to Crazytown?

Obviously, in the case of Kathleen Hale, one review stuck with her(that book has loads of 1star reviews, and only one reviewer was terrorized that we know of). So it must have triggered some kind of emotional response. That's not Miss Harris's fault or responsibility, but something about her words earwigged into Hale's brain, and I want to understand. Not to excuse--I'm still horrified by the situation--but just to comprehend the thought processes on that downward spiral.

As I only have myself to compare with(and I've never hunted down a reviewer... that I know of o.O) , the questions I asked myself when pursuing that elusive understanding:

• What negative review stung the most?
• What ones didn't bother me? 
• When I was bothered, how exactly did the review bother?
• What made the difference between this 2-star review and that 2-star review...

The conclusion I've come to?

Negative reviews that actually stung, were the reviews that 

said something I secretly agreed with/feared...

So that's my Q to other authors out there. With negative reviews you've gotten, have there been equally written/snarky negative reviews that didn't bother you, but the one that did said something true about your book/writing/whatever that you just really don't want to think about in order to keep your muse turtle-free?

 

Other theories are welcome too. This reasoning might just be particular to my own special neuroses.

Entitlement -- #BloggerBlackout #HaleNo

In the wake of author-stalker antics over a negative review, along with a staggering number of other author-on-reviewer crimes... I'm posting this before my head asplodes with the loud angry words.

For Authors

You’ve written a book and it has now become made available for public consumption through some manner of dissemination. Congratulations!

A Comprehensive List of What You’re Now Entitled to:

• You May Tell People You’ve Written/Published a Book. Or not, depending on your preference. It's up to you, you can use a pseudonym and conceal your real name, use a pseudonym and freely share your real name, or use your real name. Up. To. You. And whatever your safety requirements are.
• Claim the Occupation of Writer or Author. Although publication is not a necessary pre-req to claim those titles. 

What you are NOT ENTITLED to

• Not Entitled to Reviews. There is no right to have your book reviewed by anyone. If you get reviews—good, bad, or ugly—Be Grateful Anyone Made the Effort.
• Not Entitled to Have People Buy Your Book. Except family. Feel free to whine over holiday dinners and send passive aggressive birthday &/or Christmas cards to people who may share a surname, genetics, or whatever else makes them family... and who haven't bought your darned book(at least your debut. YMMV on later titles).
• Not Entitled to the Right to Appear on Anyone Else’s Blog for publicity and praise because of your general awesomeness. Further: Bloggers are not your employees, if they have read and reviewed your book, they're doing you a FAVOR. The only acceptable response is: Thank You.
• Not Entitled to Know the RL Identity of Your Reviewer. If you have more than one 1-star review, the correct and sane conclusion is that more than one person hated your book. This is not a case of ONE person with multiple accounts leaving 1star reviews designed specifically to ruin you.  

Helpful Sidenote: 

Hallmarks of an actual Troll Reviewer: Newly created account, generic name, only has one(or maybe a couple if they're high-achieving trolls) review. If there are many or hundreds or reviews? Not a troll. 

And what does it matter who they are, it's a person who has these specific thoughts. Not a robot. Not a maniacal monkey demon sent from the fiery pits to ruin you, or a rogue AI program who hates the name of your heroine. A person disliked your book for whatever reasons they listed, and it does not matter if they've a real-sounding name or go by GrignrTheManly. A PERSON WROTE THOSE WORDS. That's all you need to know.

The only reason someone would leave a negative review(that actually pertains to your book) under a fake ID is for the freedom to safely say what their current emotion is screaming at them to say in the way they need to say it. It isn't so they can lie about how they feel.

Permissible Reactions to a Bad Review

• Cry. This is best done alone in your home. But the good news: It's Pants Optional!
• Vent to your friends in private. Rant. Complain until they're sick of you. But for god's sake, keep it off the internet. No Public Displays of Immature Dickishness
• Fantasize about your misunderstood genius and take comfort in the fact that one day, probably long after you're dead, you--trail blazer that you are--will be lauded for your mad, avant-garde storytelling skills.
• Confide in your dog, who may bring you a stick to cheer you up and remind you of the long held doggie wisdom: Sticks and stones may break your bones...but they're also really good for chewing on when life's got you down.
• Confide in your cat, who will magnanimously allow you to sit in her presence, possibly allow you to pet her, feed her, or run a red laser pointer dot around the room for her amusement.
• Eat or Drink Your Feelings. Possibly not the healthiest reaction, but have some chocolate and some wine. Just don't use them as a facilitator to Public Displays of Dickiness. Or other dangerous/inappropriate actions.

Side-side Note: Book Bloggers are often the best promo available to 21stCen author. Negative reviews won't ruin your career or your book, but your response to negative reviews could. In summary: don't be a dick. 

Tips for Bloggers & Reviewers

You all know how to conduct yourselves with regard to your reviews, so instead...

• Be aware that just because someone had the brain power to write and publish a book doesn't mean that they're stable individuals. I don't care who asks you for your address, if you don't feel comfortable giving it or your real name, then don't! Have them send the package to your local post office. In the US, we have an option for General Delivery, and I'm sure that there are comparable setups in other countries. In the US, it works like this:Mail addressed General Delivery is held at the post office and you go there to pick it up. You don't have to have a post office box to protect your home address, mail does not have to be delivered to your home. Addresses look something like this:

United States Post Office

General Delivery:

NAME OF RECIPIENT

City, State Zipcode

• If you feel threatened by someone--anyone--author or schmo on the street--Call The Police. Contact a lawyer. Tell your family and friends. Say something online even. Keeping quiet will not help you. Embarrassment is one of the stalker's biggest weapons, it keeps people quiet and conceals abuse. Quiet helps them, not You.
• You have rights, and the biggest, most important one is that you should feel safe in your home, at work, when you go to your favorite restaurant, etc. 

Finally: To the authors who are crying out, 'But we're the ones being punished, we're innocent!' 

First, that kind of sentiment implies that those being harassed over reviews deserve it. They don't.

Writers should have some connection to their empathy skills, and now's the time to activate that connection. This isn't about you or your butthurt about not getting your book reviewed for a couple more weeks... It's people using what meager power they have to stand as a community for something important.

Keeping Quiet helps the Abuser, not the abused.

Self-Awareness and Writing Emotion

It's kind of funny to me that I'm a writer who actually gets paid to write now. If you'd asked me five years ago if I'd ever be able to do that, I would probably have said no--even though I wanted to. Ten years ago? I would have definitely said no, nothing anyone would read.

My negative outlook wasn't linked to my dyslexia. It wasn't because I didn't think I could write in an entertaining fashion--even ten years ago I was certain I could tell an entertaining story. At least from an external point of view. It was the internal stuff that threw me.

I know why this is now. I am an atypical girl.

• I hate shoes. I've been known to wear sandals in the snow. Once I forgot to wear shoes to work...(which is another story...)
• I only carry a handbag so I have somewhere safe to keep my ereader. 
• I loathe Lifetime/Hallmark Channel Christmas movies(or well, just in general you can't make me watch those channels). 
• In summer, I will walk in the rain without an umbrella even when I'm not feeling sad(people only walk in the rain in movies when they're sad.)

Also? I don't like examining my feelings about anything. And holy crap, if you make me talk about my feelings? Conversation will go down hill fast--I'm doing good if I can string ten words together. I prefer the most generic words possible to describe my emotional state(I know it's like social camouflage, and I don't care!).

I'm good.
I'm okay. 
I'm bleh... 

If anyone wants to explore these generic words with me, I can probably filter it down another level and give bare details to explain whatever upset me... But if the person I'm speaking with can't work out from this why I'm upset, any further digging will probably make me cry. It doesn't matter what the emotion is, if it's big and personal, I can't talk about it.


This is why therapy would be useless for me.(Which is not to say that I don't need it. I'm pretty sure I'm nuts, I just like to think it's a quirky, fun kind of crazy.)

This was also why I couldn't get deepDEEP inside the emotional state of my characters. I couldn't examine their feelings because I didn't even examine my own feelings. So I didn't have a clear point of comparison for anything. I didn't have better words than the generic ones.


I didn't start digging deeper until I wrote the book that actually sold. It isn't autobiographical by any stretch, but I used a lot of things from my life... Enough that everything felt familiar, I didn't have to stretch to understand the characters. But in the first couple drafts, I didn't stretch hard enough to describe/depict those emotions. Not until my editor made me do it. I resisted. Good lord, I resisted. I love reading romance(especially stories with THE ANGSTS!), but my unsold drafts were full of glancing blows at emotion. Riddled with jokes that kept the characters and ME from having to look too closely at what we were feeling.

Which brings me to the point of this post: I've been judging an unpublished RWA contest, and all my entries have so many good things to say about them: good writing, warm voices, interesting situations... But a couple of them have characters I wanted to love but could not connect with. The writer didn't dig deep enough.

In the past, I've been advised to think of a similar situation in my life to what the character is facing, and relive those emotions while writing a scene. But that never helped me. Invariably, my reliving the past involved me thinking about how at the time I didn't want to think about the bad thing that was happening!

Getting emotion on the page is more about your own Self-Awareness than anything related to writing. You have to understand yourself before you can ever try to understand other people.(Quick Note: Sympathy and Empathy are not interchangeable. They're different. Ask Uncle Google to explain. I know I've banged the Empathy Drum before, but writers need strong Empathy, and that starts with understanding yourself.)

The only way I know to do that is by examining your memories and all the messy bits attached to them.
 
And I don't mean just think about it, I mean wallow. Open that metaphorical vein and let that sucker bleed. Do NOT apply pressure or try to staunch the flow. If it doesn't hurt,  you haven't cut deeply enough.

The only way you'll ever understand other people(especially imaginary people who spring from your crazybrain) is to understand yourself(and your crazybrain). I know that sounds like New-Agey Woo-Woo talk, but...some professions lend themselves to the Woo-Woo talk.
 
Because I love craft books, and there are some truly excellent(and even mind-blowing) writing books about emotion out there, please let me recommend:

• Rivet Your Readers with Deep Point of View by Jill Elizabeth Nelson
• Writing for Emotional Impact… by Karl Iglesias
• Practical Emotional Structure by Jodi Henley

Goodreads Giveaway & Announcement

Sporatic girl strikes again! Yep, I've been quiet, or at least quiet HERE. Distracted might be a better word -- I've probably never actually been quiet in my life!

Two Quick Things

• Goodreads Giveaway widget added above! For my August book -- formerly known as Circus Medicus, it has a proper title now: Return of Dr. Irresistible! 

• Starting July 21 -- I'll be running a free workshop on the Harlequin forums--which is an ever-free and fantastic resource/support group if you want to write romance, especially category romance. Lots of info, and lots of fantastic opportunities there.
• Title: Digging for Your Muse: Manufacturing Creativity
• One Line: Using mindmaps to generate unique stories you(and your readers/editor) can get excited about.
• Blurb: The workshop will also demonstrate techniques for using mindmaps as a problem-solving tool to get you through the obstacle course you run from Page One to The End.

Just Popping In...

I really don't have anything to talk about. I went into my usual blog-coma for the writing of book4, and now I'm doing last revisions on it(I hope) and planning my summer project(A 5/6-part serial that is currently half-written) -- and which I plan on dipping a toe into the world of self publishing with! Exciting, more on that later.

Stealing Rapunzel Cover

Also considering whether to start doing some book cover design on the side... I enjoyed doing the one for my summer project. If anyone is interested, ping me on my contact form or send me a message on Facebook :)

Otherwise, just working working working. Oh, and feeling guilty for neglecting my blog. I'm on Facebook a lot(frequently posting stupid stuff!), if anyone goes looking for me.

New Release

www.Harlequin.com

www.millsandboon.co.uk

I discovered something today! At Harlequin.com, they now have books available a month before their release month for purchase. This is how it's been at millsandboon.com for as long as I've paid attention, but North America was still limited to release month.

Now, some lines have all their different versions available right now(Michelle Smart's March Presents is flipping awesome), but Medicals have only ebooks available. They will become available at other retailers in March.

Tatted Cross Pattern

This pattern is built on this filigree doodad. Obviously, the one in the photo below isn't the copper one(It's the gunmetal one... but the one in the picture floating around Pinterest is the copper one)

I did this a while back for a lady who'd emailed a request, but never put it on the blog. I also never heard if she successfully made the thing based on this mess of instructions, but ... HERE IT IS!

Tatted Top Hat Pattern

Reposting here what I posted by request on the InTatters forums: How to make the little tatted top hats.

Tatted Top Hat Pattern (Size 10 thread)

Round 1: This will be a 5-petal flower with 4 regular rings and 1 Split Ring: 2 – 2 – 2 – 2

Round 2: [SR: 3 – 3 & 3 – 3, CH: 2 – 2 – 2 – 2], * [R: 4 – 4 – 4 – 4, CH: 2 – 2 – 2 – 2, R: 3 – 3 – 3 – 3, CH: 2 – 2 – 2 – 2]* repeat between *’s around, close and finish round.

Round 3: In this round, the small rings will attach to middle of the chains and the large rounds will straddle the V created where a ring and 2 chains join. *[R: 3 – 2 – 4 – 2 – 3, CH: 3 – 4 – 3, R: 3 – 3 – 3 – 3, CH: 3 – 4 – 3] * Repeat around and close.

Round 4: With my hat form, this is the last row of the top flat of the hat. Attach rounds to the V again: *[R: 3 – 2 – 3 – 2 – 3, CH: 3 – 3 – 3]* Repeat, close.

Rounds 5 – 9: Repeat the same pattern as Round 4. However, work Round 5 at 90 degree angle to the edge of Round 4, and then Rounds 6 thru 9 flat with Round 5 – creating a cylinder.

Round 10: *[R: 4 – 3 – 4 – 3 – 4, CH: 3 – 2 – 2 – 3]* Repeat around and close

Round 11: *[R: 2 – 2 – 3 – 2 – 2, CH: 2 – 2 – 2, R: 2 – 2 – 2 – 2, CH: 2 – 2 – 2]* Repeat around and close

Round 12(final row): *[R: 2 – 2 – 3 – 2 – 2, CH: 2 – 2 – 2 – 2]* Repeat and close

Once lace is finished, fit to form and apply stiffening agent.

Hat Band Pattern(Size 20 thread)

Clover consisting of: [R: 3 – 3 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 3, R: 3 – 3 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 3 – 3, R: 3 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 3 – 3], CH: 3 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 3, R: 3 – 2 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 2 – 3, CH: 3 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 3

Repeat around. End picots of sides of clover and sides of ring join. Last ring should join first clover, so it makes a band.

This is as close as I’ve gotten to a good fit on the outside of the hat. Looks nice when beaded.

Second/Sophomore/Every Book Syndrome

So this topic has been spoken about at length on some of the boards I frequent, but came up again tonight in email with another Baby-Writer friend. Thought I’d just fling it up on the blog, since I tend to neglect my blog when I’m actively writing a book and it’s all about MASSIVE NUMBERS OF POSTS between books for me!

So… The second book I wrote after selling to Harlequin was epic hard for me(Uncovering Her Secrets). This was before my first book came out, so I didn’t think it actually qualified for Sophomore Book Syndrome—I didn’t have a public image to live up to yet because the public might have hated book1! But it was incredibly hard for me to write.

At the time, I decided the reason that book was so hard was because I was writing a hospital-setting and that was so normal... and I’m not. Then I thought it was because I wrote a sarcastic frequently ass-tastic hero(think Damon on Vampire Diaries) and that it was hard to make him likeable. And finally, I thought it was just because I suck as a writer.

Book3(Circus book – Return of Dr Irresistible) I thought was gonna be a breeze. I was so excited about the story, the setting… the Every Thing. My fabulous editor was letting me run AMOK. It was all gonna be AWESOME. But? It was so freaking hard to write. I decided the reason was that since they were letting me outside the box, do anything I want... that meant IT HAD TO BE PERFECT. Actually, it had to be better than perfect. Because why make the readers take a risk with a circus story when it's no better than a normal everyday setting? If they’re already taking a gamble with the book, that gamble has to pay off. 

Right now? I am working on book4 and I'm at that SUPER EXCITED phase of limitless possibilities and I’m sure it’s going to be easier to write than the others (haha) I haven’t had to put my money where my mouth is—it’s already perfect because it’s all still in my head. I get this way at the start of every book—aside from book2, that book was freaking hard the whole way and I hated it until the last revisions when I suddenly loved it. Every book has been hard to write except book1(Craving Her Rough Diamond Doc) which was insanely hard during that phase where it was rewritten. Twice. 

The difference between the first draft of every other book and the first book? I didn't really know what I was doing when writing book1. I was just painting with my toes to see what would happen! No pressure because no one would want to read it anyway, right? I got to do what I wanted, when I wanted... But now? Now I put pressure on myself to live up to the first book. And then I think things like: Maybe I could only write it vividly because it was set in Appalachia and I know the people and the area so well? Maybe it was because the heroine was a version of me, and I knew her so well. Maybe it was because I based the hero on Joe Manganiello and I was just SUPER MOTIVATED... and really good at picturing Joe Manganiello without his shirt on... Mmmm Joe without a shirt...

I had a point... before Joe distracted me.

OH YEAH. That feeling that comes after you’ve gotten to work on a book and you know it’s all crap, and no one will ever want to publish it, and they will hate you and kill your kitten because HOW ELSE WILL YOU LEARN NOT TO WRITE SUCH CRAP?! That? Everyone feels it. And we all try to rationalize it away because if we can explain why it's happening, then that means we can try and control it. GI Joe told me: Knowing is half the battle! And I believed that crap. 

But really? GI Joe left off one important detail:  

You still have to fight the freaking battle.  

(Go Joe!)

All those reasons I gave myself about why each book was so hard to write were true in part, but mostly they were just my way of giving myself something that I could identify to fight when I was struggling to get through it. And every one since the first draft of book1 have been a struggle... (Book1 was a struggle in the double-rewrite portion of its existence.)

Writing fiction is hard. I might be me deluding myself again, but I think that the first X-number of books are going to keep being really hard. Because every time I write a new book, at least at this phase, I’m learning great gobs of lessons--the kind of lessons that are hard to put into a single HowToWriteAFrigganAwesomeNovel craft book... I’m still behind the curve, but at some point... I’m going to get ahead of it. And it's going to get LESS hard. Not easy, it is never going to be easy... but it's going to make me stop wanting to chew through my own leg to get out of the animal trap(aka: My Contract which I frequently doubt I can ever fulfill).

No matter where you are in your writing career, if it's really hard, keep running to catch up with the curve. You will catch up with it. You will get ahead of it. It's only the first five books that are this hard(I'm fixin to start writing book4, which I'm pretty sure is going to be hard, but book5 will be the sweet spot, PLEASE GOD...)

To sum up: If at the end of writing a book you look like this http://marlenebaer.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/drowned-rat.jpg ? You’re probably doing it right. (I just linked because I don’t own the copyright and I’m all sorts of touchy about that, but I couldn’t find a commons picture that conveyed the same feeling!)

Before I Was Published...

Release: March 2014

Before I was published, I was a lot better at maintaining some kind of presence on my blog. Not stellar, of course, and most of my posts did tend to go somewhere not related to writing... But there were projects to follow!

Now, most of my project time is actually time I spend writing. Or watching Buffy marathon on Netflix... which I claim is a writing-related activity because Joss Whedon is a masterful storyteller... but before this post becomes an homage to all things Joss...

UPDATES: 

• Circus book revisions turned in yesterday. Hope I don't have any other revisions to do. Title: Return of Dr. Irresistible and will be out Aug 2014
• I know roughly what both Medicals I'm contracted to write in 2014 will be, and I'm excited about them. Special projects! 
• Decided I want to write for a second line and have been kicking around ideas for that, but other than SOMETHING REVENGY, I don't know what that first project will be. I'll probably let you all know after it's written and I'm in that predictable THIS-STORY-IS-RUBBISH-MY-EDITOR-WILL-HATE-ME stage, where I've sent it and can't edit anymore but I know someone will be reading it... In other words: I'll be late to update my blog(Another predictable stage for me). 

I did have several small tatted projects for Christmas, and one very large one... but I can't find the pictures I took of  the large one, so a picture of the small one!