Oct 27, 2010

Maximum Overdrive

When I was  a kid, a horribly cheesy movie was made about machines coming to life and killing people. The movie is full of tractor trailers running over folks, kitchen appliances attacking unwary housewives/waitresses, pop machines shooting people in the head with bazooka soda cans blastinglike a potato gun, rampaging steam rollers squishing soccer coaches... It's probably one of the goofiest movies ever, and I have absolutely no idea why I love it and watch it every year. I think it is something to do with the same reaction I have to bulldogs: so ugly they're cute. The movie is so bad it's awesome.

I don't remember if it ever scared me, it might have mildly done when I was little, but I feel positively macabre admitting now that I pretty much laugh through the whole thing. It's on TV every October, but this is the first year I'm watching it from a storytelling POV. So, although I've probably seen it twenty times, I only just realized that it has possibly the lamest, UNhot kissing ever filmed.

I don't really know why there is a 'love story' nested in this crazy, truck-stop bazooka-firing madness. It does nothing for the story arc, so why am I surprised about how utterly cold that kissing was?  And what is there to learn from this horrible lovescene/kissing? 

It is easy to identify hot/romantic kisses when we see them, but it is less easy to put our fingers on what makes these scenes moving.  But this scene makes it really easy to identify what makes the emotion believeable by identifying what is missing. Closed lips, fast pecks with more time between kisses than actual lips-touching time. (Less helpful but still funny: heroine has a Eww look on her face that makes me think Emilio may have had some serious monkeybutt breath.)

Can you think of any movies/television/books-even which highlight What Not To Do when trying to write the sexyfun?

Oct 20, 2010

Yearly Spiderpocalypse

My home is located in a small cleared area within a national forest, and although I honestly love the area, I frequently long for the speed and convenience of the city. And at this time of year, I also long for the lower Critter to People ratio of the city.

The nights are getting cold and tonight I have been forced to admit that Summer is over due to the multitude of spiders seeking warmer accommodations inside the house.

They are everywhere. I am illogically terrified of spiders. I scream every time I see one, no matter the size. It is a wholly instinctive reaction, since I scream first and then only after I've run, do I realize what I am afraid of. The realization generally comes when I am several feet away.

I've screamed and run away four times today. Once when I was in the potty, which made my 'jump up and run' reaction tricky.

In addition to spiders, field mice have come inside as well. I think. I am pretty sure I saw one out of the corner of my eye last night, or perhaps I am hoping it was a mouse -- if that big scrambling thing was a spider I am going to have to move out of STATE. Also, I can't keep my cat off the counters the past few days, she's usually not so bad about the counter-walking, and I want something to blame there. Mouse it is!

On the plus side, I have had a refresher course on exactly what it feels like to be crazy terrified. I noted physical sensations in my plots book so I am prepared to scare the living daylights out of one of my characters. DUN Dun dunnnn.

Oct 16, 2010

Pass the Nyquil...

I am allowing myself a few seconds of whining regarding this: worked through writer's block with other artistic endeavors, and as soon as I was done with those other endeavors, I've come down with fever, headache, sore throat, aches, and am generally super cranky.

Stupid viruses or germs or whatever.


Oct 1, 2010

Messed Up Dreams

If not every night, at least several times a week, I have extremely vivid dreams, which I can recall details to after I wake. I keep a file of dreams I've had, since they frequently run like a movie, and at the very least have awesome elements in them I would like to incorporate or build a story on later. Sometimes I can even program myself with the type of dream I want to have by reading something in the same subject before I go to sleep. Want to dream about Norse gods? I will read a bit of pantheon.org before sleep.

Last night I decided to give this a try to get over a block I've been having with current story. There is going to be a love scene, at least one, and this first one is giving me fits. I can picture it all different ways, and none of them really feel right yet. So I decided to try and have a sexy dream. I didn't read anything, but I spent some time thinking wildly sexy thoughts before sleep.

I dreamed I was in a bi-plane with Betty White flying over the Pacific and that sassy wench crashed us into an unpopulated island. I was stranded on a deserted island with Betty White. And she is way up in her 80s, but Dream Betty was swinging on vines line Tarzan, and generally putting my butt to shame. I remember thinking: what the hell, I can't keep up with Betty White!? There was no sex involved, thank god. Now though... I am certain I have brain gremlins who just like to dick with me.