Apr 19, 2012

Q is for ... Q&A on Pigs

Did you know pigs are extremely smart with unbelievable problem solving skills? It's true. Every time we had pigs on the farm, they could escape their pens at will, I think. They ate so much because they were plotting while eating. We'd just think... "Man, they sure like that corn and stuff. They're oinkin' a whole lot!" Untrue, as it turns out, they were discussing weaknesses in the fencing.

How do you keep pigs from escaping? You don't. Oh sure, someone may hand you a 2x4 and say... "The first pig that comes out that hole they made, you hit in the head as hard as you can! I'll go get the other ones!" But I couldn't hit a pig in the head! I stood there and tried to look menacing with my longish piece of treated lumber, and the pigs were unimpressed with me.

What else can you do with a piece of lumber to keep a pig in a pen? NothingCertainly not poke at it and try to hold it back. Pigs are round, slippery with muck, and cut-throat! It doesn't matter if you had too much courtesy to hit a pig, they'll run right over you and leave you helpless, clutching your lumber while your farm is transformed into an episode of Benny Hill--except with fewer naked chicks and more pigs running about.

Do pigs help their brothers and sisters escape when they've made a hole in the pen? Heck no. It's every pig for himself! Which is what lead to that unfortunate incident with me guarding the pig hole with a piece of lumber . . .

Don't be fooled by how cute they are when they're little. If a pig asks to come live with you, you say NO. They're perfectly capable of building houses of straw, wood and bricks. I heard a story about that a time or twenty.


  1. If George Orwell taught me nothing, it was that pigs are going to lead the revolution. Four legs good, two legs bad!

    1. I believe it. They are crafty little monsters! I think that they had to evolve those smarts -- anything that tastes like bacon is going to be always on the run!

  2. But what about Wilbur in Charlotte's Web? He WAS a GOOD pig right? Or was he just tricking us? P.S. I am lmao over your statement that "anything that tastes like bacon is going to be always on the run!"

    1. That's a good question. He seemed to be a good pig, but maybe he was just controlling us through emotions so we wouldn't eat him.

      I can totally see someone yelling, "OH NO, OUR BACON'S GETTING AWAY!" during a high-speed pig chase!:) They're fast too. I should have included that! I read somewhere they can run 10-15 mph, but no one knows for sure because they zigzag. They're wiley!


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